El Roi and little ole me

Small miracles can reap huge emotional rewards.
I am not ashamed to ask God to make my heart dance and sing with the knowledge that He sees and loves me. I ask Him to help me recognize miracles. I’m convinced they are everywhere all the time. I’m by no means the only one who wants to recognize His presence. And like others, when the miracle is personal, I know that I know He sees me, little ole me. I’m in direct relationship! It’s a miracle that lights me up inside like a thousand LED bulbs. In Genesis Hagar was moved beyond logic when a miracle helped her realize she was seen. Her praise must have been filled with so much joy. “You are the God who sees me [El Roi].”
Most people know, and most importantly, God knows, I’m a creature of habit. I love routine and schedule. It’s comforting to me. Most of my daily routines are that…routine. Routine has always kept me on task, goal oriented and structured. For instance, I do daily chores in an order. I keep lists and love organizing my intellectual pursuits. If I’m not early I’m late. Anywhere. I arrive at least a half hour before every Mass and sit in quiet adoration in the same seat, row six, left side, next to the center aisle. Habit and ritual allow me to settle in, pray and practice peace before the service.
Christmas Eve this year, hubby was still recuperating at home (and doing well BTW). This meant I would go alone to one of the most highly attended services of the year at 4:30PM. I was excited about seeing all the children in their Christmas best and getting a first glimpse of the decorated sanctuary (Catholics don’t decorate until then). While the world has enjoyed all the bliss and bluster of Christmas lights, trees, and indoor/outdoor decorations, our sanctuary is unchanged, not even a poinsettia until Christmas Eve. I planned to be there super early and drink in the atmosphere.
I left home extra early. As I drove to the end of my driveway a neighbor pulled in and blocked my exit. She needed to talk. My heart told me the right thing to do was be present for her and love my neighbor.
She did indeed need to talk. But this meant that by the time I arrived downtown the parking lots were full. Miraculously I found one space at the very end of a supplementary parking lot.
I pushed open the doors to church and felt the thrill of seeing so many people ready to celebrate the birth of a King. Walking through the crowded commons (filled with overflow seating) few seats were empty and I contemplated taking one. But my heart yearned to bless myself with Holy Water at the back of the sanctuary then turn and take a look at the decorated beauty of our church. I hoped it would take my breath away.
I blessed myself and turned at the back of the church to take in the grandeur. It was incredible. My heart was so full. I may have stood there a half minute. A gentleman I’ve never met (who likely goes to Mass at a time I don’t) walked forward slightly from the front of the church and acting as an usher, held up one finger with raised eyebrows, asking if I was alone. I nodded yes. The gentleman waved for me to come down the aisle. He stepped up a few pews and gave a signal to a man sitting near the end of the isle to skootch over. He motioned for me to come and sit on the end.
I did and when he turned to walk away, I took in the miracle. I counted the rows in front of me. I was sitting on the sixth row on the left side, next to the isle. “My Seat.”
Stunned I realized in a totally crammed church with hundreds of people, God had saved my favored seat. My seat. My view. My vantage point. He knew it was where I prefer to worship Him. He wanted me to know He knows me. I could not arrive at anything but the perfect time. Oh, my word, how touched I am that it was God who saved my seat.
I sat there with my heart hammering the message, “God saved my seat for me. He sees me. He really sees me.”
The miracle is so personal, so undeniable, and so precious. Every time I think of it, I am touched again. He is as Hagar said, El Roi, the God who sees me.
Please share how you experienced El Roi, the God who sees you. It will lift many hearts and encourage so many others.
The Conversation
Beautiful, Deborah! It’s all about trust.
It is indeed and trusting that He will show me miracles has made my life journey so beautiful.
How God acts to let us know his love for us! Forty years ago after the birth of my second son, by c-section, and holding the hand of my three year old, I began to pray for parking spaces near the door during the Christmas season. And they appeared! And have continued to appear throughout my life ever sense, particularly when my fibromyalgia hurts, or my back is cranky, or my balance is particularly bad.
Recently I have become the driver while Ken recuperates from cataract surgery. Going to Walmart last week on Saturday, I was the one driving. Ken couldn’t let me out at the door as he usually does. Sure enough, at the end of the aisle, two slots from the door, a perfectly great parking space appeared! And I always thank God for providing that miracle for me.
thank you. Isn’t it awesome how He sees every single detail, even parking places!! I love that you recognize them as miracles!