Beginner…again

Here we are in a time that no other generation has ever seen. Total lock down where I live, Virginia. So surely this is the right time to start a new indoor project. Right?

What sparks you to begin something? Take on a challenge? Sign yourself up to be tested? To increase your workload, or add to your stress?

Is it a desire to achieve? The opinion of others? A requirement of some sort? 

If we’ve had a lot of challenges, why would we choose to set ourselves up for something unnecessary? To be a beginner…again? What do we tell ourselves to motive us?

Does it take courage? It does for me. Every. Single. Time.

Usually, my thinking goes like this, “May as well do it, I can’t let go of the idea until I try.”  I might reassure myself with, “And if somebody else can, so can I.”

Aa child, I had to begin again…a lot. I was the “new girl” twenty-one times in twelve years of public schooling. Why? (Yes. I could hear you asking). Witness Protection.

Okay, so that’s the answer I tell folks that could make sense, but it’s not the truth. The real story is more that my dad believed in flipping houses, in various cities and states, long before it was a thing. So, each new school would be a new beginning.  Again, and again, I would learn the ropes, the clicks, the grading systems, school mascots and colors, their values and rivals. I loved adopting the different colloquialisms and accents, (mine is Appalachian). I even tried out different nicknames. In fourth grade the most popular girl in my school, winter term (we moved before Christmas and June), was “Bambi,” so…you guessed it, at the next school when asked if I was called “Deborah, or Debbie,” I said, “Bambi.”  That led to some memorable situations.  Teachers must have worried that I was hard of hearing, kids could have thought I was shy. But in reality, I just forgot to look up when they called that name. I even got in trouble with a crosswalk guard who threatened to tell my father. All I could think is… “Well, go ahead, he won’t have a clue who Bambi is.”

All those beginnings meant endings, which were hard. So sometimes we might hesitate at a beginning because an ending is inherent. Every new job, new move, new church, even a new grocery store, involves that.

And every new beginning means we are a beginner. Again. It can be thrilling to learn new things. Humbling and humiliating too.

I didn’t have a choice about all the new schools I attended. (counting colleges and universities it turned out to be 25). I’m thinking all those schools taught me it’s okay to be a beginner. As soon as I set my foot in the door, the journey started. Figuring out the first steps is…well, the first step. 

And now…I’m beginning again. As a  Blogger.

So, this is blog #1.  Wow.  I did it. I’ve begun… Again.

What beginning has been your biggest adventure?

Is there a beginning you are trying to avoid?

What does it take to move you forward, what do you tell yourself?

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  1. Deborah Bauer says:

    I love your site! Yes, I am beginning again for the millionth time? My husband just died but I am okay as I see this as the next passage in my journey. I miss him terribly like all others before me in this path. I am not terminally unique on this path and will not be the last one to start this path. My goal in life now is to help others, if allowed, to navigate through the path of a love one dying under Hospice care. I was fortunate in these times as he was able to stay at home with me so we were not separated with this COVID-19. I know I will see him again and he is with his love ones that died before him so I know he is well taken care of, happy, joyous, and free again. I can talk to him and reach out to him anytime I want and I can pretend he is now a captive audience to my endless talk as most men are not necessarily that way when they are alive! I figure, what can he do, come back and haunt me! 🙂 That would be okay by me as well.

    I tell myself this too shall pass and I went through things in life in the past and now to help others. That is my mission, to help where and when I can in life if people want to hear or to just sit and be with them in silence as well.

    I look forward to your new book and know there will be many more fine books to come. I and an avid reader and love to have a new author in my life! I will share this book with as many friends as I am able as well as this website. This is awesome, a new adventure with you in your books and books to come. I cannot wait to start reading.

    Congratulations and best wishes now and the books to come!

    • Deborah Maxey says:

      Deborah, all the best to you as you begin another leg of your journey. You sound very wise in the way you are approaching this. I love your faith and your outlook. I know your faith will sustain you as you ride the rollercoaster and endure the twists and turns of so many changes and emotions during this season of your life. Thank you for the compliment on my site, I appreciate your support more than I can say.
      Deborah