Beginner…again

Here we are in a time that no other generation has ever seen. Total lock down where I live, Virginia. So surely this is the right time to start a new indoor project. Right?

What sparks you to begin something? Take on a challenge? Sign yourself up to be tested? To increase your workload, or add to your stress?

Is it a desire to achieve? The opinion of others? A requirement of some sort? 

If we’ve had a lot of challenges, why would we choose to set ourselves up for something unnecessary? To be a beginner…again? What do we tell ourselves to motive us?

Does it take courage? It does for me. Every. Single. Time.

Usually, my thinking goes like this, “May as well do it, I can’t let go of the idea until I try.”  I might reassure myself with, “And if somebody else can, so can I.”

Aa child, I had to begin again…a lot. I was the “new girl” twenty-one times in twelve years of public schooling. Why? (Yes. I could hear you asking). Witness Protection.

Okay, so that’s the answer I tell folks that could make sense, but it’s not the truth. The real story is more that my dad believed in flipping houses, in various cities and states, long before it was a thing. So, each new school would be a new beginning.  Again, and again, I would learn the ropes, the clicks, the grading systems, school mascots and colors, their values and rivals. I loved adopting the different colloquialisms and accents, (mine is Appalachian). I even tried out different nicknames. In fourth grade the most popular girl in my school, winter term (we moved before Christmas and June), was “Bambi,” so…you guessed it, at the next school when asked if I was called “Deborah, or Debbie,” I said, “Bambi.”  That led to some memorable situations.  Teachers must have worried that I was hard of hearing, kids could have thought I was shy. But in reality, I just forgot to look up when they called that name. I even got in trouble with a crosswalk guard who threatened to tell my father. All I could think is… “Well, go ahead, he won’t have a clue who Bambi is.”

All those beginnings meant endings, which were hard. So sometimes we might hesitate at a beginning because an ending is inherent. Every new job, new move, new church, even a new grocery store, involves that.

And every new beginning means we are a beginner. Again. It can be thrilling to learn new things. Humbling and humiliating too.

I didn’t have a choice about all the new schools I attended. (counting colleges and universities it turned out to be 25). I’m thinking all those schools taught me it’s okay to be a beginner. As soon as I set my foot in the door, the journey started. Figuring out the first steps is…well, the first step. 

And now…I’m beginning again. As a  Blogger.

So, this is blog #1.  Wow.  I did it. I’ve begun… Again.

What beginning has been your biggest adventure?

Is there a beginning you are trying to avoid?

What does it take to move you forward, what do you tell yourself?

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